


After Endgame

by SmartCoffee



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-09 21:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18925237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmartCoffee/pseuds/SmartCoffee
Summary: This is pretty goofy. It's one-liners and short-form jokes with an Avengers theme. You probably won't even laugh.





	After Endgame

Avengers Endgame Jokes

 

Someday Peter Parker is going to have a really weird high school reunion with some graduates being 5 years older than the others.

 

Doctor Strange saw 14,600,005 endings to Endgame.

            Ending 575: It was all a dream.

            Ending 1,792: We all had all the Infinity Stones inside all along.

   Ending 42: Stephen Strange: I have seen 14 million six hundred and five futures. We win in five of them. Tony Stark: That gives us options. Stephen Strange: Not really. Four involve Ant-Man doing something gross. Disney will only let us do the fifth one. Tony Stark: Typical

 

Hey Avengers, how do you plan to use time travel to get the Infinity Stones?

Avengers: [Intricate plans about sending operatives to six precise locations with consideration of known risks.]

Hey Avengers, whose soul do you plan to sacrifice for the Soul Stone?

Avengers: [silence]

 

Of course it's cute that Morgan tells Tony that she "loves him 3,000."

But Tony later gloats to Pepper that while he finished at 3,000, she finished "in the low 800's," meaning Morgan loves him way more than she loves her. You're really gonna stand there and make this a competition? Not cool.

 

[Tony Stark is hanging out with Natasha Romanov at the Triskelion]

Tony: Nat, we're having a birthday party for Morgan this week. Most of the gang will be there. Wanna come?

Natasha: Sure. Sounds fun.

Tony: Just ditch the fetish gear and wear something casual.

Natasha: Excuse me? Fetish gear? 

Tony: What? I just don't want you wearing a skin-tight leather costume around children.

Natasha: First of all, it's a tactical suit not some weird kink. Second, I wear what I please. Third, you're a hypocrite because you use the Iron Man suit to impress women all the time.

Tony: Whatever, Nat. Oh, one other thing, there's going to be a dessert table with selections from The Cheesecake Factory.

Natasha: You win, Stark. You son of a bitch.

 

 


End file.
